Funky Tut

I was looking forward to this weekend so much.  First of all, I was going to the King Tut exhibit at the Pacific Science Center with Joseph and my friend Katie and Katie’s sister.  Katie and I are enthusiasts for all things Ancient Egyptian.  And my most favorite thing of all Ancient Egypt is the goddess Isis.  I love her!  Katie and I decided we were the new Priestesses of Isis, which mostly involved us bothering our super-Jesus loving coworker Taylor with pagan slogans we made up and using Isis-code-names for each other.  I was Frankertiti and Katie was Katiepatra.  We are pretty cool, I know.  Joseph was almost willing to be seen with us for this trip. And then I was going to go to the Zoo with one of my most favorite nuclear family units in the whole wide world on Sunday. 

So here are my complaints:

First of all, I’d like to apologize to the Pacific Science Center’s cash register cashiers.  I am so, so sorry I spent money that goes to pay your salary.  I could tell you hate customers, and I have to tell you that the feeling was mutual.  I am so sorry you had to help me.  I am also sorry that I found my way to the exhibit despite your directions mumbled at top speed.  (I’d like to seriously thank the HELPFUL PSC employee who directed us to the bathroom and the exhibit, you are amazing, I was totally lost! Don’t tell your jerk-face coworker.) 

Second of all, I can’t believe I didn’t pass out when, after waiting in line in the August sun I was herded into a small dark room with forty other people where the temperature was even hotter than out in the sun.  I am also at a loss as to why the little park ranger with the microphone felt the need to speak in a movie trailer voice. 

Third of all, I am an adult.  I can chew gum without getting it all over ancient statues.  Don’t police me, police the four year olds.  I can keep a stick of gum off offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Ghack!  I was holding my gum in my fingers to prove a point and kind of got it stuck on my F key!  I think it’s good now. Fff, yeah, pretty sure.  Sorry about that.

Fourth of all, I have never felt so underwhelmed with ancient statues.  I didn’t even have an overwhelming urge to touch one just to say I did it.  Everything was so overly lit and dimly encased in glass that I felt like I was in a boring jewelry store.  The black draperies were a little overkill; if they had gone with a turquoise or a powder blue I might be reporting a different impression right now.  And yes, King Tut’s statue was a little pudgy and black is slimming, but Tut has a reputation for opulence, and he could have used some Tiffany Blue, just saying. 

I will take a little time to report on my favorite piece.  It was a cat sarcophagus, literally a stone coffin built for a cat.  It was also Katie’s favorite, because she’s a lover of cats.  For me, though, it was the one place I found what I was looking for.  Joseph and I were admiring an Ancient Egyptian toilet seat (seriously) while I was telling some random guy that I’ve been trying to get my toilet seat in a museum for years, when I looked over at the Cat sarcophagus and saw a carving of a goddess with a certain house-basket hieroglyph on her head.  I knew from the Discovery channel that this was Nephthys, the sister-goddess of Isis, and that on ancient sarcophagi the sisters were depicted on opposite ends of each other.  I grabbed Joseph, pointed it out, and excitedly exclaimed, “If my calculations are correct, Isis is just on the other side!”

And she was.  Isis was hiding on a small cat sarcophagus waiting for me to find her.  I know King Tut’s father disbanded the worship of old gods in favor of a monotheism based on the Sun God.  One of Tut’s few accomplishments as a young Pharaoh was to turn the power back over to the priests and allow the traditional gods of Egypt like Isis to be worshipped again.  I didn’t expect to see much of Isis during such an exhibit focused on a time period trying to hush up old gods.  But I was sad I saw only one small depiction of my favorite Egyptian goddess, who stood facing a corner of the room like a punished toddler who tried to chew gum at a King Tut exhibit. 

And then I woke up on Sunday super excited for the zoo.  My GI tract was also excited, but not for the zoo.  So I had to miss it, and my favorite little nuclear family.  I’m super sad about it, but someday I’ll make it to the Point Defiance Zoo, which is in T-town, go Tacoma!  (Although, I kind of blame Tacoma City’s water for my GI problem.)