You can’t always tell where your heart will grow, or what it
might grow. They always seem to burst
out of us in such unexpected ways. Some
fall to the ground like apples, become rooted to the very places they grew up,
and become just like those apple trees they fell from. Some get caught on the wind and blow far away
in gusts of inspiration, and wind up growing in unexpected places.
My friend, Paul, can attest to this. He grew up in Michigan. He found his way to Vashon Island of all
places. He met me there, and worked in
the very same deli where all my best friends worked. Like me, he was a non-native who was welcomed
into the fold of tried-and-true islanders.
He finally felt the call to return to Michigan, and he even wrote me a
nice note in Facebook about how he’d be going for good. Well, to my surprise, I got another message
from Paul today stating that he was back on the island once again. I know the need to return, Vashon has a siren’s
voice that calls me back often with the promise of love.
My own heart is like a flower that goes to seed, flies away,
finds a new inspiration, and a new chapter, and grows there. Then, just after I've flourished, my blossoms
fade, they fall away, and my seeds go off in a puff of wind to find my next
inspiration. I think, of all the
flowers, I’m probably a sunflower. The sunflower
used to be a mermaid named Clytie. She
fell in deep, deep love with the Sun, and watched him from sun up to
sundown. Her face grew bronzed and
bright under his glaring rays, and her limbs withered away from lack of
eating. The gods felt sorry for the
mermaid who couldn't be loved by the sun, so they transformed her into a
sunflower, which watches the sun from dawn to dusk as Clytie did once long
ago.
So my heart bursts into seeds that fly through the air. They are eaten by birds and taken by wing to
places and adventures that offer me enough soil to grow and become something
new for the time being. I grew on Vashon
Island, once, and made myself at home in many gardens there. Pieces of me grow there still. But life and my own need for change
(something that can devastate me when I don’t engender it myself) made me move
along. With all this chasing
inspiration, I am very thankful that I have something to hold onto: Joseph. I love him as much as Clytie loved the sun,
more perhaps, because my love is returned.
So while I scatter my heart-seeds wherever I might, I still always grow
to turn my face wherever Joseph may walk, from dawn to dusk, from dusk to
dawn. Joseph is the constant in my
ever-changing life. I’m lucky enough to
be with a man who can grow and change as much as I need to, but still keeps me
grounded and rooted where I am.
I am the luckiest of sunflowers; I’m loved by my sun.
And I’m happy to know a good friend is back on Vashon
Island. I can’t imagine the place
without him.
