Princessing

When I was three years old, I had already had a best friend whom I loved more than anything.  Her name was Snow White, and she was a princess from a far away land.  She used to live with these seven short guys, but now she lived by me and could pop in whenever she wanted to.  She often went for drives with me.  My little brother Randy would sit in Mom’s lap, and Snow White would sit in my lap.  That’s how we made room for everyone in the truck. 

Snow White graced the top of my third and my fifth birthday cakes.  She appeared in many puzzles, books, and coloring pages I favored.  And she was especially sweet in a book my cousin owned.  I had to tote that book around with me whenever we visited this cousin, and as I was never a graceful gum chewer, I accidentally coated this book with my Wrigley’s Spearmint. 

As I grew up, I began to incorporate some of Snow White’s philosophy into my own life.  Before I had to do household chores, they were fun.  Sweeping and dusting came naturally to me.  I would burst into song whenever I had a broom in my hand!  As I grew up, I grew to hate these chores, especially when I had to do them for myself.  But a little song time with a broom and a kerchief on my head usually got me in the mood.  To this day, whenever I have a lot of household chores, I usually don my overalls, my kerchief (in assorted colors) and start singing (my singing is not the best).  My three favorite songs to sing are “A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes,” “Whistle While You Work,” and “Once Upon a Dream.”  You’d think that after over twelve years together, I would have shared this side of myself with Joseph, but No!  I have not.

And then this morning, as he was getting ready for work, I was listing off all the things I had to do: wash laundry, clean the house, do the dishes, start a garden.  I started feeling overwhelmed, and said, “This is going to take a lot of Princessing, and I just don’t have it in me.” 

Joseph blinked a couple times, and said, “What?”

Oops, the cat was out of the bag.  So I explained to him what Princessing was, and with a look on his face that told me he was looking at a crazy person, Joseph silently accepted this new information.  I waved him off to work this morning like I always do, but this time I had a broom in one hand and a song in my throat for him.  I don’t expect him to come home for a couple of days …

the Kitchen Shelf

My mom gave this oven mitt to Joseph for Christmas. I rediscovered it and hung it over the kitchen shelf. I love it. The heart shape and the warm color fills the shelf up with lovely feelings.

Judy's Gunning for Me

This is Judy. 

As a designer, Judy comes from humble beginnings.  She was the first one who said that if we ever had a friends’ version of the hit show, Project Runway, we would have to make it a Barbie doll challenge because she would never make an outfit big enough for a real person. Since then, Judy has sewn circles around the other designers. 

The first challenge in 2009 was actually a series of four challenges that each designer earned votes for each design.  At the end of the four challenges, whoever had the most votes would become the winner or Barbie Project Runway 2009.  Judy’s first couple of designs had merit.  

But in the third challenge, Judy tied with me for the win with her wedding gown made of tissue paper and pasta.  And the fourth challenge was a clear win for Judy with her Drag Queen.  This design captured who Judy was as a designer: meticulous and clean with lots of hand-touched details.  But because the four challenges were a tally of all the votes, I won and Judy was just behind me. 

In 2010, our designs featured gowns that would make it on the red carpet.  Judy brought a cream colored gown with hand beading and Oscar inspired accessories.  But my vision in purple won over the voters again.

 

In 2011, the challenge was to create a look based on a fairytale.  And it looked like Judy was all set to win with her look based on Cinderella.  My look, based on the Little Mermaid, received no votes, because (as Judy so graciously informed me) one should not add feathers to a look based on a mermaid.  But Angela swooped in from left field with a look based on Little Red Riding Hood that absorbed most of the votes. 

And in 2012, the challenge was to create a modern look inspired by the 1984 Barbie Doll, Peaches n’ Cream.  Judy brought her usual thoughtful design with its hand placed glitter and frothy, creamy feather details.  But I had found my stride in this one and won the challenge. 

I know Judy is gunning for me, now.  The Barbie Project Runway challenge for 2013 is on.  The challenge is to create a fantasy look, and it will be on Judy’s home turf.  It’s time to do or die, because Judy is not going to pull her game.  It is on.  

Dandelions

The sun was shining brightly when I woke up.  I sat under the cherry tree in the yard, smelling the cherry candy scent of the blossoms already promising to overwhelm the yard.  This, I reminded myself, is the season of renewing, refreshing, and rebirthing. 

Why, then, was I shocked when Joseph told me he felt our rented three bedroom house and two vehicles was living above our means?  The man thought we might get back to basics, simplify, and save money by trimming the fat.  Believe me, compared to twelve years ago, Joseph and I do live a little more comfortably than we have.  And maybe it is time to take stock, get rid of pieces of ourselves that no longer apply to who we are, and move forward. 

I used to want to be a hippy.  I wanted muddy rain boots, fresh garden earth, and laundry hung on a clothesline.  I wanted Joseph and I to entertain ourselves with books and music and be happy on sunny spring days.  But Joseph was never this way.  I adore dandelions and he uses weed killer on them. 

Spring always reminds me of what I wanted, when what I wanted was simple.  I’m not too far from that version of me, even with all these years stacking up between us.  I just don’t put as much effort into being that person anymore.  I dream about it all the time when the sky is blue and the birds are singing.  Sometimes I look around myself and I can’t see the life I love: the butterflies and the frogs, the lavender and the apple trees, the mason jars full of jam and the baskets full of knitting.  I miss those messy glasses of paint water when I used to dream on canvas.  I miss the mess of creation in a life that is becoming more and more planned and organized.  I miss the Frank I used to be. 

Is that progress?  Is that growth?  Is that success?